Experience the Healing and Recovery: I want everyone to have the opportunity the experience the healing and recovery that I have

I grew up in the Dakotas and was raised by both parents. They were young parents; mom was 16, and dad was 20. I have a brother who's three years younger. I changed schools 3 times, during my 5th-grade year, after my freshman year, and after my junior year. My parents both earned their GEDs and didn't go to college, so my counselor at school didn't discuss continuing education as an option. I graduated on my 18th birthday and moved out of the house 3 days later. I moved to Iowa and came home after it didn't work out. I moved to Texas and came home after it didn't work out. I decided to go to school after my first divorce. I was a first-generation, non-traditional college student and single mom. After grad school, I changed jobs every 3 years or so, until I opened my private practice in 2018.

I grew up never really feeling like I fit. I didn't maintain friendships from childhood. My peer group came from broken homes, and they often struggled with substance use and sometimes got in trouble with the law. At most, I had one good friend at a time. I often dated boys and men much older than me. I survived sexual assault, domestic violence, and kidnapping. My daughter was conceived during rape. I married three times and divorced twice. I walked through life feeling judged, mostly by my mom, and feeling like I needed to settle because I didn't deserve better. As a teen, I saw mom as an enemy. I've been anxious and probably depressed my entire life. I abused drugs in my teens and twenties. I drank heavily in my twenties and early thirties. It's a miracle I didn't end up dead or in prison. I have been overweight or obese most of my adult life and have never maintained weight loss. I have gained and lost 100 plus pounds three times.

My healing started when I was an advocate at a Domestic Abuse Shelter. My trauma was triggered during a training in AZ. I was surrounded by Native women, and I participated in a healing ceremony. I am a Caucasian woman and worked with Native Americans, so I had the honor to participate in Sweat Lodge and Healing Ceremony, in addition to learning about Native traditions and spiritual practices. I have a variety of hobbies that allow for creativity. I connect with my spiritual resources through meditation and time in nature. I've had several counselors over the years, some better than others. Hypnotherapy and ART were most helpful regarding bodywork, but Brainspotting changed everything!

I now know my social anxiety, feelings of judgment, and inability to fit in were attachment issues. Until April 2024, my sense of safety was a construct in my head. I completed Brainspotting Phase 1 in April, Phase 2 in July, and Digging Roots in October. In April, I FELT safe for the first time in my life. I healed my sexual and physical trauma that weekend.  

I want everyone to have the opportunity to experience the healing and recovery that I have. Although the journey was painful and terrifying at times, it was never greater than the trauma I experienced. When I see, hear and experience things now, I see it is information. I don't attach meaning; I just notice it. The ability to be present is a gift, and everyone deserves to feel that.

M.K.